We are a society of list makers. Bucket lists. Laundry lists. Best Toad the Wet Sprocket Albums lists. Worst Ways to Die lists. Worst Ways to Die While Listening to a Toad the Wet Sprocket Album lists.
So let’s give CBC a big round of earnest, salt-of-the-earth applause for coming late to the party and finally compiling a Top 25 Greatest Canadian Singers Ever list. Like the title says, this isn’t some fly-by-night list. This is a list to stand the test of time. Think your kid can carry a tune and might grow up to be one of Canada’s greatest singers? Think again. The ballots have been cast and the results set in mother-effin’ stone. These are the greatest singers EVER.
While typical Can-con royalty made the grade such as Gordon Lightfoot, Bryan Adams, Anne Murray, Sarah McLachlan, Joni Mitchell and k.d. lang who occupies number one spot and by government decree can only be written about if her cover of Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah” is mentioned in the first two sentences, we have to take exception with a few choices.
First of all, Avril Lavigne isn’t a particularly strong singer. She’s a popular singer who’s sold a ton of albums, but sales and influencing 12-year-olds to wear black eyeliner does not a great singer make. Other entries, while solid, seem like nothing more than a blatant attempt to curry favour with a certain hip and discerning demographic. Sure, the Weeknd and Amber Webber of Vancouver’s Black Mountain have fine voices, but at this stage in their careers are they the greatest ever? Better than Mitsou? Better than the Zit Remedy? We think not.
We’re certain if this list was compiled in 1985, you’d see names like Mark Holmes from Platinum Blonde, Honeymoon Suite’s Johnnie Dee and Luba. And do we even have to ask, where the heck is Mike Reno from Loverboy? We’re serious about that one.
Nonetheless, we appreciated CBC’s purposely provocative and subjective list. In fact, it’s inspired us to compile some of our own lists, including The Best Things We’ve Watched on TV Instead of Republic of Doyle, Top 10 Groans We’ve Made While Accidentally Sitting Through a Preview for Murdoch Mysteries and, of course, Top Three Reasons Why Not Renewing the Rights to Use the Hockey Night in Canada Theme and Replacing it with a Completely Innocuous and Forgettable Bagpipe Dirge will Forever Fill us with Anger and Disappointment in CBC’s Insulated Lack of Vision.
